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COLUMNISTS

7 Reasons Why Men Reject Women
By Tony Chomba Mwangi Njanja

And so an investigation began. I began the exploration in my memories, passed by my experiences, dipped a left at all the pub philosophy and closet geniuses I had heard speak and turned a right at all the books I had read, movies watched and life lived.  And now I am going to take all of that, mix it up in a blender and try to come up with 7 reasons why men reject women!  Here we go:

1. They Got What they Wanted: Some men just wanted to have sex with a woman and as soon as they have that, its on to the next conquest.  I remember reading that one of the greatest ladies’ men of antiquity was an absolute rake.  He would chase like it was a race, persist and insist, seduce and reduce all obstacles until he bed the damsel in his sights.  As soon as he beds her, it was finished.  He would get up and look for the next damsel to rinse and repeat with.

2. Inadequacy: I think this is one of the reasons for single-parent households that are rarely discussed.  A man is meant to be a strong, powerful, all confident person.  If he cannot provide for a woman and a child, either because of economic circumstances or failings in his character or whatever roll of the dice life gives him, he doesn’t want to stick around to be reminded of that.  He would much rather go back to where he is strong, even though that means seducing the next empty headed bimbo he can find.  Many men would rather be constantly reminded of their strengths than constantly have living, breathing, talking reminders of their inadequacies.

3. Men and Women are Different: You can write libraries on this topic and still never ever really capture every nuance of this statement.  Physiologically men and women are different.  In terms of challenges faced, men and women are different.  In terms of their emotional experiences, the way they respond to relationships, just about everything you can imagine, a man and a woman are different.  We hate, fear, dismiss, quarrel with and reject that which we cannot understand.  A man must work hard to understand a woman. A lot of men don't want to do that. A lot of women don't want to reciprocate this one either.

4. Peace versus Emotional Fluidity: Men like quiet time and women don't.  Women want to express, share, feel and flow emotionally up and down, left and right.  Many men just want to sit in quiet and feel free.  This might seem like it’s a minor thing, but when a woman is "nagging" (yeah this is where the word comes from, this conflict) every single day and wants to share and connect, and do this and have that done to her and the man is happy with a head that's as empty as possible and a place as quiet as possible, you understand why many a man will choose peace over a woman.

5. Don't Like Women: This one has a number of layers. For one thing, there are many men who would never even bother with most women if they didn't have a sex drive (refer to point 3 and 4 for some reasons why). They would be happy if they could go back to their pre-adolescent days when they weren't constantly scheming on how to get into Trisha's pants. Some men really would. The other side of this is:

6. Some Women Have No Personalities: There are women who are so used to men falling at their feet and giving them everything (quite rare in patriarchal, chauvinist societies like Africa when compared to the West) that they never had to develop people skills or learn how to co-exist with people or charm them.  As a result, to say spending time with some women is unpleasant, is like saying a concert is a lullaby; doesn't even begin to scrape the surface.  Eventually, no matter how beautiful or sexually enticing a woman is, the man has to simply next her because spending time with her is like spending time with the Grim Reaper of charm.

7. Supply and Demand + Not His Type: I am sure you probably expected "not his type" or "not his cup of tea" as number one, but its not the primary reason most men reject women.

Options

Most men in order to be able to say that, “a woman isn't his type" and then quit advancing sexually have to have other options. They have to have, or perceive they have, other women of equal or greater social value or sex appeal before they can do that.

Some Men Do

Now, I want you to imagine a brother who is so smooth that you can scrape his sweat and use it to butter toast. He is so seductive he managed to seduce all the snakes off Medusa's head and the 7 Horsemen all the way out of the Gates of hell.

Or if not, imagine a man so good looking the Sistine Chapel and Statue of David cry whenever they see him, shocked at just how wonderfully he was put together. Or if not, imagine men who are clearly men of power and very high social value. Over time these three men will have more and more and more women prostate before them.  And the greater the number of women they have in their life, the more discriminating they can be.


So if a man has more supply than he needs, then he can begin to pick, choose and eliminate women who are not his type. I know every woman can relate to this one because women pick and choose men all the time out of the usually multiple people who are advancing at any moment in time. Once a human being feels they can reject someone and still have more where they came from, sadly many people have no problem axing a pweon.

Bonus Answer:

Not His Type....no seriously: Then there are men who have no excess supply but will reject women genuinely for not being his type. If you are one of these men, and you are not being held back by fear but are doing this from a place of integrity, you my friend are the cream of the crop as far as I am concerned.  I love humanity and think there can be good in all of us, but this almost never happens.

*Mr Tony Chomba Mwangi Njanja is an African immigrant who has lived in Australia for six years.  His website, the Displaced African, is dedicated to the happiness and peace of mind of African immigrants, as well as current commentary on the important issues of the day.  He can be contacted by e-mail at: masmilele@thedisplacedafrican.com









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